transeunt insomniac

my empty fist crushed the glass
never again will you behold

water slammed against the window pane

in a now unrelenting rain
the sky had exploded from the south,
crawling towards me all too fast,
it's billows growling my name

my hand is empty
my side is cold
i tried to wake you

a desperate elusion
blades of grass stab my feet
blood weighing my legs to stiffen
rain smothers my voice
vigilance grows harder to keep
my body longs for sleep

i'm no watchman, but you should have listened.

Your eyes look past mine

The cafeteria wall stares blankly back at you
I reach desperately into your dim face
So unwilling to accept despair
There is hope for us yet if you would only dare

The second-hand so unforgiving
My patience succumbs to desperation

Placid eyes, The calm is shifting

[How they tarry in the light, their songs have been stolen

Their chants are enticing the storm that will bury you tonight]

When time gets in the way
and silence fosters lies,
the gyrillidae shroud even
the most complaisant of eyes

Stone-faced, your intensity is a lie

I warned you!

How is your heart so reluctant?

I know they stole the life from your eyes

The droplets on the window pane

marke eras lost in silence

the first of the waters slither down the glass,

Hissing my name
Alexissssssss.

Time has stolen away, today is dying
You, my friend, will be wasted with it
as you sleep in your pitiful silence

Steady streams now run and flow into each other
They whispered my name into the skylight
alexis.

chimera prelude

chanting through the twilight air
their lovelorn songs foretell of storms escorting despair

wooing their own
destroying your throne
seizing your voice
and clamoring their noise
filling the silence with the song you once sang

chanting fills the midnight air
crickets call forth the storms
that rage against the seas
wooing their own
destroying your throne

the silence you succumb
to is the disease
that will overthrow you
the gryllidae seize your voice
and sing your song
calling forth the storm
and with their lovers rejoice
as you are left alone

What does Bleuler know anyway?

Two questions. I think they might be separate of each other. But there is a great possibility that I'm wrong.

1. Have you ever had a dream that infiltrated even your day dreams / interrupted your normal flow of chaos / drove your thoughts to abstract realms / and, exactly one and a half years later, influenced your tear ducts in an unfair way....
Oh...no. Well I'm glad for you.
I am absolutely certain this dream holds meaning. But I think that forgetting about it would feel really nice right now.

2. Have you ever been afraid of losing your mind? In a few years, I might not be in college. I might be sleeping on a cardboard box, curled into the fetal position, willing myself to just ignore the voices. Or maybe your or my spouse might completely forget about us and our respective love stories by the time we are 65. Does that freak you out ever? Oh....you didn't think about it? Well you have to now....have fun.

Love you friend.

explosions

Have you ever had a day, or even a moment, in which you felt that an explosion would be in order? Something gripped your heart in a way that escapes words / Someone inspired you and filled your mind with colors and ideas and songs / An angel sang love to you / The Holy Spirit broke through the walls that you've built between His voice and your ear...
And it was all you could do to keep from screaming and drop kicking everyone around you in an obscurely misdirected effort to release the passion permeating your body?
An overwhelming rush of something....something indescribable.

Yea? Me too.

Something beautiful and utterly sublime has gripped me again.
Jesus.
My entire identity summed into five letters (plus one punctuation mark for emphasis).

Today was Bloomsday in Spokane. A bazillion thousands of people in short shorts and windbreaker suits (and more fanny packs than one could imagine) and ran. or walked. or danced. a whole 12k.
And the Mosaic Fellowship handed out free hot dogs and semi-cold waters. and ketchup. I stood on a sidewalk in front of this from 9am to 2pm asking people questions. Mainly we wanted to know if everyone could ask God one question, what would it be?
Through this I met and got to peer into the lives of some of the most interesting people with the most abstract questions for God.
people are exhilarating.
Mosaic is the most welcoming community I have ever been a part of.
Fellowship is beautiful. The Body of Christ paints grace for me.
and for this reasons...I have joy. Crazy amounts of it right now.
My chest feels as though it might explode.
(which could get messy)

At least once day for the past week and a half, I have been inspired beyond comprehension, waiting to explode like this.
And it is good.
I hope that you feel this every now and then.

Love,
Alexis